New Life

I recently found out I’m having a child( and I’m probably the father, I mean I don’t have a 24 hour surveillance on her but I HOPE she is faithful!! )

Anyway, after a brief panic attack and utter, bare fear, I started getting pumped and I started thinking about shows with parents and child birth.

Immediately, Dragon Ball popped in my head. To see Goku go from a happy go lucky kid, to a teenager, to a young man, getting married, having kids, and now Goku’s son Gohan has kids… it’s crazy. Time flies and life is nuts. It makes me a little nostalgic.

Because I was a kid, I was a teenager, I grew up, I had ups and downs and all arounds. And now I too am expecting a child. I feel that I have a tendency, on the brink of drastic change, to get nostalgic, reflective, and think about all I’ve done to get to the point I’m at now. Change has always kinda spooked me, permanent change that is. The kind of change that makes YOU change and compels you to adapt.

But we are, all of us, always changing. The world around us is constantly changing, for better or worse, and with all the change it can be enticing to grab hold of complacency, to hold on to any moment that granted happiness. After all, we know we are happy now and doing well… what if we change it, or change is forced on us, and it is NOT as fun and we change too?!

I’m pretty sure this crosses all of our minds from time to time and to some extent, some maybe more than others.

But it is certainly relatable. But how long can Goku stay a kid and stay satisfying? How long can we eat the same food, with the same people, doing the same thing, without growth and an opportunity to challenge ourselves and overcome adversity? That drama, that tension, the attempt to achieve some semblance of balance… that is the whole point.

It has been a real treat seeing Goku grow up. To see his kids grow up. For characters to grow older and have kids and new jobs and new celebrations and new triumphs and new obstacles and new scars…

That IS life.

CHANGE!!!!!! CHANGE IS HAPPENING ALL THE TIME NO MATTER WHAT!!! YOU CAN’T STOP IT AND YOU SHOULD NOT EVEN TRY!!!!

Write your story 😀 every day.

So then you can grow and have experiences to look back on.

Fight Frieza and do your best. And then after that chapter ends look back on it, fart around, maybe take it easy, and then take on Cell. Then Buu, then Beerus, and so on and so forth.

Fight your battles. Don’t be afraid of being afraid!

When Goku fought Hit and trembled with fear… he was writing his story, regardless of the outcome that risk is what life is all about! Preparing for challenges the best we can and then muddling through!

I just watched the latest Attack on Titan episode, and a major plot point was adaptation and fear of doing things that will change us. In their cases, in Attack on Titan, the situation was far more traumatic. But all the same, even taking a human life when fighting for something you believe in… it is harrowing. As Levi said it is not about right or wrong… and that is scary because no one wants to be in the wrong after they were in the right or thought that they were. And few people are monsters or mustache twirling cartoon bad guys that seek chaos for the sake of chaos. It is a conflict of ideals and view points.

Getting blood on their hands for the first time is about more than just killing a person. It is about becoming a new person that has done a permanent thing that can not be undone. And the fear that this new permanent state will be more than we want or can handle but unlike most actions that can be reversed, this is a new chapter in the book of our lives.

And that is kind of how I feel about having a child. I can not undo this action and I do not know that I am ready. I hope I do the “right” thing and that my best is good enough but who knows?! I hope my child is healthy, and happy, and has a good life where they do fulfilling things that they are proud of… but life can be hazardous. There are many pitfalls. But we are all in it together! And there are SO MANY good times to be had!!!

But no matter what, we will deal with it. We will change and have new experiences, both good and bad, but THAT is the point. While not changing and stagnating and complacency and comfort might be safe, it is NOT…. I dunno… LIVING!

“Adapt or perish, now as ever, is nature’s inexorable imperative.”

Sometimes, all you can do is your best, live in the moment, be mindful, and then at the end of the book, read through it, see what you did, for better or worse, and take pride because THAT is YOUR story, the only one of its kind. And that is pretty fuckin cool if you ask me.

So yea, life, permanent change, change can be scary, don’t let fear dictate what you do, right and wrong, do your best… having kids, growth… powerful stuff…

NOSTALGIC STUFF…

Life though, it’s NUTS!

Anyway, I’m a little scared and a little excited but I’m having a kid with my lady and I guess it’s time for the next chapter, just like Goku. Good to know that I’m gonna be in good company 😀

Anyway my thoughts are everywhere, Dragon Ball, Attack on Titan, growth, change… I hope it all kind of makes sense!

Welp!

Until next time!

-AniSun

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